Am I Queer Enough?
I’ve been the odd one out as far as I can remember.
The weirdo. The misfit. The outsider.
I never fitted in.
I was that hexagonal peg,
in a triangular hole.
I was always open-minded
But never thought anything of it.
Until…
🎶 I kissed a girl and I liked it 🎶
And so
Just ever so gently it was that I
Started bending the straight rules of sexuality
From hetero
To bi.
That was just the beginning.
I had no idea of the degree,
the depths of the atypical, unconventional
uniqueness of me.
One day
I kissed a trans person and I liked it.
I didn’t expect us to become a ‘we’,
but we did, and I wondered,
if you’re dating someone who is neither male nor female…
What does that make me?
🎶 Oh I’m just a girl, living in captivity 🎶
You see,
I am a peaceful person and my favourite colour is blue,
but I definitely see red when I witness the double standards
that are still rampant in our society.
Yes, I happen to be happy
With my plumbing and wiring.
But imposed gender roles
Are not all that inspiring.
🎶 Oh, I’ve had it up to here! 🎶
Equality? Not quite equal.
Is the problem with society?
Is the confusion in biology?
It’s not that simple
But what if it was?
What if the answer is common decency?
The way I see it,
labels
in and of themselves
are neither good nor bad.
But,
society makes me question;
conditioning makes me wonder…
Who gets to decide
on any of that?
Am I woman enough?
Feminine enough?
Feminist enough?
Thin enough or indulgent enough?
Modest enough or confident enough?
Old enough or young enough?
Selfish enough or generous enough?
Informed enough?
Independent enough?
Authentic,
ambitious,
assertive enough?
Spiritual?
Informed?
Liberal?
Rebellious?
Brave?
Kind?
Proud?
Am I non-conventional enough?
Pansexual enough?
Polyamorous enough?
Queer enough?
I am.
Enough!
And so,
in the journey to finding the true me,
I made a powerful discovery.
I thought I wanted to fit in.
But what I really wanted
was to belong.
To a beautiful tribe;
to connect
with my fellow weirdos, misfits, outsiders.
And most importantly,
belong to me.
So call it what you will.
Unconventional.
Atypical.
‘On the huh’.
Queer.
I am me.
And I couldn’t be more proud.
#zestymusings ©2020
I performed this at the Aviva Pride Poetry Evening for LGBT+ History Month on February 20th, 2020.
“I kissed a girl (and I liked it)” is from the song by Katy Perry.
“Oh I’m just a girl, living in captivity” and “Oh, I’ve had it up to here!” are from the song “Just a girl” by No Doubt.
Featured image: my design. You can get it on a t-shirt, sweatshirt or tote bag from my teemill store! 🙂