“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”

Albert Camus

Esther holding a mug with Metatron's cube on it

Hey there, you delightful human! 👋 How lovely to meet you 😊

I’m a neurospicy creative rebel from the Netherlands, and I moved to Norwich (UK) in 1999.

I’ve always been creative, always tinkering with stuff; drawing, making jewellery (sorting beads was my favourite passtime!), you name it.

After five years of studying electronics (wanting to make my dad proud. Bless me), I decided that art was the way to go.

Somehow (for reasons as yet unbenown to me) I got into the University of the Arts in Maastricht. I mean, I knew *actual* artists who didn’t get in, so what chance did I have?! I guess they saw my spark of potential. I couldn’t believe my luck! I dived in head first, eager to learn and be guided.

Unfortunately it became obvious that it wasn’t the place for me. I just didn’t get what they wanted from me! (Neurodivergent much?)

I thought my creative spirit would be nurtured, but instead I found myself frustrated and restricted by yet another system I needed to fit into.

A system that wasn’t made for me.

Needless to say, I didn’t exactly pass with flying colours. I failed. And quite spectacularly so.

So, off I went into another creative course to qualify as a graphic designer. I got my BA in art in 1998, and after a short job as an artworker of multilingual medical manuals, decided to move to the UK.

Fast forward, after many years of working in local agencies, I decided I wanted to live life on MY terms, so I tentatively started my own design business.

Did that work? Not at all.

I yo-yo-ed between part time employment and doing maternity leave cover and back to part time for a few years. In 2014 though, I went all in, and haven’t looked back since.

Has it been smooth sailing? Absofuckinlutely NOT.

(Has it been worth it? For absolute suresies.)

Then covid hit, and my world (as everyone else’s) was turned upside down.

I rethought everything – my life, my way of being, my business. Work dried up pretty fast and I had no idea how to navigate a pandemic (I mean, who does? It’s not exactly part of the curriculum, like, ANYWHERE). Thankfully with some financial help from the UK gov (eternally grateful) I found some breathing space.

I went into therapy and started a MAJOR journey of self-discovery (and self-creation). I realised I had money blocks, chronic people pleasing tendencies, and issues setting boundaries.

I started to realise I was neurodivergent. And probably quite burned out because of that (and also because I wanna do ALL THE THINGS, ALL THE TIME). So I learned to self-care better.

Oh and I started a podcast. (Really fucking proud of that one!)

In the last couple of years, I’ve embraced being a Queer Mystic, creating intuitive designs in the form of channeled codes and sacred geometry, and queer art to express my passion for LGBTQIA+ advocacy as well as embracing my own queer and quirky spirit.

So, here I am. I’ve been on this planet for over half a century now (how?! This is just beyond me). I like to refer to myself as a ‘rebel with a cause’. My motto is “do YOUR thing, YOUR way”, and I passionately believe that authentic, unapologetic and at times radical self-expression is the most important gift we can give to ourselves – and to the world. The word authentic seems a bit overused but it’s true; that’s what I want for myself. For you. For the world. More love. More authenticity. More joy! And more FREEDOM!!

Books

Image of the Sacred Redesign book cover and a picture of Esther, with the text 'Sacred Redesign' and 'available on Amazon now'

On 22 April 2022, I became a published – and best-selling! – author 😃

In my chapter, I share how conversations with trans, non-binary and other gender-diverse folks has really opened my eyes to see the assumptions that we make about ourselves as well as other people, and it has helped me rediscover who I really am. I now feel like I can’t wait to enter this next phase of my life more empowered than ever before!

Sacred Redesign: How to free yourself from society’s standards and create heaven on earth is available on Amazon as an ebook and paperback now. Get it here:
US | UK | AU | CA | DE | FR | ES | IT | NL | JP | BR | MX | IN

Dr David Hamilton's book, How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body (2nd edition)

I was beyond excited to have my story ‘Power of the Mind: how I cured myself of the psoriasis I had fro 20 years‘ featured in Dr David Hamiltons 2nd edition of How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body.

I’d of course recommend buying the book, but you can read the story on my blog.

Podcasts

I’ve had the pleasure of featuring as a guest on a variety of podcasts with some fabulous people, talking about subjects including brand energetics, body wisdom, zest for life, unconventional relationships, gender, sexuality and podcasting. I even had a direct line to divine intelligence!

A Clear Perspective with Oron and Medha podcast picture
SEPTEMBER 7, 2022

A Clear Perspective – with Oron & Medha

Episode 99: Our relationship to the natural world – the relationship between the energetic and the physical

Our relationship to nature and the planet has gotten complicated. We used to live in a much more connected way. Both with ourselves and with our planet.

Our changing relationship with the natural world means that connecting with nature needs to be a more conscious choice than in previous times. Forest bathing for healing, plant therapy, learning how to access healing from the earth – these things are no longer natural parts of our daily life. They need to be conscious choices.

When you start to understand the relationship between the energetic and the physical (both with your mind and your feeling), you won’t just be changing your relationship with the earth. You’ll be changing your relationship with yourself and your world.

If you want a conscious relationship with nature and are open to a channelled message about nature and the earth, this episode will help you understand that our body is not just physical, how nature heals, what ‘humans are energetic and physical’ means as well as whether or not we a separate from the Earth.

Are you ready to awaken the new earth?

Empaths Revolution image
SEPTEMBER 5, 2022

The Empaths Revolution Podcast – with Harris Eddie Hill

Episode 7: Spirituality as an LGBTQ+ person

Creator and host of the Fifty Shades of Gender, and co-author of Sacred Redesign, Esther Lemmens (she/they) joins us to discuss the podcast, finding spirituality as an LGBTQ+ person, and how they got into channelling! Esther always brings a sense of non-judgemental curiosity wherever she goes, and it’s always a privilege to listen to her very open-minded and grounded approach to life, especially being such a collector of stories from an incredibly varied list of guests, with close to one hundred episodes under their belt. The TikTok account mentioned was @katydoesntknow.

Empowerography podcast image
SEPTEMBER 2, 2022

Empowerography – with Brad Walsh

Episode 363: Breaking Societal Norms with Esther Lemmens

In this episode we discuss creativity, self-healing, being multi-passionate, the definition of pansexual and the use of labels for comfortability within ourselves as humans.

A Clear Perspective with Oron and Medha podcast picture
JUNE 2022

A Clear Perspective – with Oron & Medha

Episode 87: Inwardly supporting our bodies in manifesting physical healing

Honouring our bodies and helping them heal can be easier in theory than in practice. That’s because once we connect to the idea of inwardly supporting our bodies in physical healing, it can be challenging to try to channel that power without holding tension or putting pressure on ourselves.

Learning to respect our bodies, honour them and support them rather than just demanding things from them and criticising them when things go wrong will have the added bonus of helping you to deal with any physical ascension symptoms.

Mamas boys podcast picture
FEBRUARY 25, 2022

Mamas boys – with Noah, Dominik, Zhi and Nick

Episode 15: An Honest Talk of Gender Identity With Esther Lemmens

Join Zhi, Dominik and Nick on an open talk of Gender, Identity and Transgender with the Host of 50 Shades Of Gender, Esther Lemmens. We learn Esther’s story of how she started her podcast and her story about how her significant other transitioned. Also in this talk we learn why pronouns are important and why identity is integral to the human experience.

A Clear Perspective with Oron and Medha podcast picture
JANUARY 26, 2022

A Clear Perspective – with Oron & Medha

Episode 70: Gender identity and self-love

Oron discuss the higher perspective around challenging gender identities. They talk about the current division we see in the world, and the lack of self-worth most people experience, offering some practical guidance around how to turn that around.

The Coming Out Chronicles with Nancy Shadlock image, episode 46, Fifty Shades of Gender and Relationships with Esther Lemmens
APRIL 21, 2021

The Coming Out Chronicles – with Nancy Shadlock

Fifty Shades of Gender and Relationships with Esther Lemmens

In this podcast, we talk about the fluidity of gender, relationships and love, in the many ways they appear. There is no “normal” way to have a relationship, and the key to achieve happiness with a partner is communication and understanding. While my relationships may not be similar to others’, there are lessons that apply to everyone, whether it be learning about yourself or your partner. This episode is all about learning, communication, and the acceptance of growth in relationships.

02:25: Pansexual / The first coming out
6:42: Speaking about labels
7:56: Solo-polyam
9:39: Love and connection without restrictions
14:10: A conversation about polyamory with your partner
27:20: 50 shades of gender

Human to Human with Jessica McDonald podcast image
DECEMBER 9, 2020

Human to Human – with Jessica McDonald

Podcasting & Gender with Esther

Jessica and I talk about our individual journeys in podcasting (we both started our podcasts in July 2020) and what we’ve learned from the experience.

A Clear Perspective podcast image with Medha Murtagh
SEPTEMBER 23, 2020

A Clear Perspective – with Oron & Medha

Episode 1: Productive personal growth: how to stop holding yourself back

Do you ever feel that you haven’t really achieved what you wanted to achieve with your life?This episode explores:

  • the role and impact of regret and how to work with it
  • how to tell if you’re trying to grow from a place of self-rejection (which is super ineffective) or from a place of self-love (which will transform you and your world)
  • how to stop blocking your own energy and growth and how to work with yourself in ways that are productive instead

Episode 4: Lack of time and money, and releasing judgment

Lack of time and money are a hugely common problem, and they’re very related. In this video, Oron discuss:

  • the relationship between lack of time and lack of money and what you can do about it
  • why deciding that you don’t want to be judgmental anymore can be hugely counterproductive and what to do instead
  • the difference between wanting to move on from something because you’ve fit a block or because it’s just no longer aligned for you

Wildspire podcast image with Stephanie Benedetto Padovani
AUGUST 9, 2020

Wildspire – with Stephanie Benedetto Padovani

Gender inclusivity, relentless self-expression and breaking the rules of business

Stephanie and I talk about:

  • The effortless way to attract your soulmate clients and partners with self-expression
  • One of Stephanie’s favorite questions to reveal your next best action that you (secretly) already know
  • Why tolerance is BS
  • A simple action you can take to support gender diversity today
  • What can you do when you screw up in conversations about inclusivity and equality? What to do when you make a mistake, and why it’s still worth doing
  • The art of leaving “breadcrumbs and invitations” in business rather than pushy and sales
  • Why you should forget offers, marketing and blog posts and what to focus on instead
  • The difference between sex, gender and sexuality
  • How to use your contrarian views to attract ideal clients and drive away the ones you don’t want
  • 3 ways to expand your podcast audience
  • Why focusing on the one thing can crush your creativity if you’re not careful
  • The new design of soul-aligned “business” where self-expression becomes your marketing and commerce is an energy exchange

High Vibe Monday podcast image with Ange de Lumiere
MAY 4, 2020

High Vibe Monday – with Ange de Lumiere

How to get the energy of your brand right

Ange and I talk about:

  • How brands evolve and it’s important to make sure your brand is aligned with your business.
  • That a brand is more than graphics. The person who works on your brand needs to understand you.
  • Colours, and how to choose colours that are congruent with the business you are in, from a psychology perspective, but also from an energetic perspective. We linked it to the chakra system. In the interview, we explore three niches and what colours would be the best match for each niche. The harmony between the colours is also important. And if the branding is not harmonic, it can actually stop people from being visible. It can really get in the way, without business owners necessarily realising that it does.
  • How all  the brand elements (colour, logo, fonts, imagery) need to be congruent. This does not mean you have to be the same as people in your industry. It means your brand has to be aligned with your work and your niche. This does mean, though, that until you have a clear niche, branding is not going to cut it.
  • Word banks and their power.

Into The Woods podcast image with Holly Worton
JANUARY 21, 2020

Into The Woods – with Holly Worton

How to Connect With Your Body’s Innate Wisdom

Holly and I talk about:

  • What is body wisdom + why is it so important
  • The different ways the body talks to us
  • How empaths can use body wisdom to tell the difference between what’s ours and what’s not
  • How you can get in touch with body wisdom
  • How can we be more embodied + what that means

We also talk about Human Design, PSYCH-K, Reiki, and the books How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body by David Hamilton, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, and Business Intuition by Holly Worton.

High Vibe Monday podcast image with Ange de Lumiere
MAY 27, 2019

High Vibe Monday – with Ange de Lumiere

How important is a book cover?

Ange and I talk about:

  • How brands evolve and it’s important to make sure your brand is aligned with your business.
  • That a brand is more than graphics. The person who works on your brand needs to understand you.
  • Colours, and how to choose colours that are congruent with the business you are in, from a psychology perspective, but also from an energetic perspective. We linked it to the chakra system. In the interview, we explore three niches and what colours would be the best match for each niche. The harmony between the colours is also important. And if the branding is not harmonic, it can actually stop people from being visible. It can really get in the way, without business owners necessarily realising that it does.
  • How all  the brand elements (colour, logo, fonts, imagery) need to be congruent. This does not mean you have to be the same as people in your industry. It means your brand has to be aligned with your work and your niche. This does mean, though, that until you have a clear niche, branding is not going to cut it.
  • Word banks and their power.

Into The Woods podcast image with Holly Worton
DECEMBER 31, 2018

Into The Woods – with Holly Worton

How to Express Yourself and Live a Purpose Driven Life

Holly and I talk about:

  • Why we need to express ourselves + all the different ways there are of doing it
  • Why it’s so important to find our own unique way of expressing ourselves
  • What is Ikigai and how it fits into the concept of life purpose
  • How to know when something is a hobby and when it’s meant to be a business/career
  • Why we need to be aware of what our Ikigai is + how can we figure out what it is
  • What to do with our Ikigai or purpose once we know what it is
  • Why this is a journey of both self discovery and self creation, and how to balance the two
  • What are blocks and why they come up along our journey
  • How to get unstuck when you’re not making progress
  • The four levels or areas you need to evaluate when you’re trying to get unstuck

Someone Gets Me podcast image with Dianne Allen
AUGUST 28, 2018

Someone Gets Me – with Dianne Allan

Have a Zest For Life!

Dianne and I talked about introverts, overthinking, authenticity, cats, passionate living, tea and:

  • Solutions and Ideas about Overthinking
  • Being multi-passionate
  • Gourmet conversation about creativity, passion and life.

Love-Listen-Talk-Repeat podcast image with Wendy Capewell
JANUARY 26, 2018

Love-Listen-Talk-Repeat – with Wendy Capewell

Esther Lemmens talks candidly about her relationship with her transgender partner

Wendy and I talk about:

  • How I met my (transgender) partner
  • How our relationship developed (with my partner’s hormones, reduced sex drive, asexuality, operation and recovery)
  • The difference between sex, gender identity and sexual orientation
  • Gender diversity: if your partner is gender fluid, then what is your sexual identity?
  • The difference between open relationships and polyamory

Katy’s episode:

Articles

I’ve contributed to a couple of articles so far: